Tank 432

Tank 432.jpg

:: Tank 432 :: 2015 ::
:: Nick Gillespie ::

Acting: 4
Anxiety: 1
Atmosphere: 2
Movie Watched: 10
Appropriate Grossness: 6
Production: 3
Recommended: 2
Scares: 1
Story: 2
Unpredictable: 5

Total: 36

You know that stereotype of the stageplay, in which the stage is all in darkness, and someone steps forward into a spotlight, and says something like, “I am a soldier. It is my duty to kill. I will kill all who I am told to. Even…myself.” And then they step back, and another person steps forward and says, “I am the engineer. It is my duty to repair mechanical equipment. But I cannot repair…emotional equipment.” Now imagine that instead of being on stage, the actors are inside of a tank, and that oh yea, also, some people are cosplaying cthulhu creatures outside, and they can occasionally see them through the tank windows. That’s what this movie is. And I get it, you’re like, “But Joe, that sounds awesome!” And I agree. It sounds awesome. But it’s not. It’s really not. Pass.

P.S. Glad they used that biohazard symbol on the cover art. You know, that symbol has kind of come to represent zombies, so bugger off.